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Punjabi Chutkule ( Funny Punjabi Jokes )

Punjabi Chutkule ( Funny Punjabi Jokes )

Pappu First Time Plane te Beta…
Jidda E Plane Da Agla Tire Uthe Uthiya
Pappu Pilot Nu Kuttan Lag Giya Te Usnu Kiha…
Saaliya Main Pelah E Dariya Piya Te Tu Stunts Mar Riha!!!

 

*Le Propose His GF
Hahah!!

*Le Propose His GF Hahah!!

*Le Propose His GF
Hahah!!

Interviewer: Let me check ur english,
tell me d opposite of good.?
Ranga: Bad.
Interviewer: Come
Ranga : Go.
Interviewer: Ugly?
Ranga : Pichhlli.
Interviewer: PICHLLI
Ranga: UGLY.
Interviewer: Shut Up.
Ranga : Keep talking.
Interviewer: Ok, now stop all dis
Ranga: Ok, now carry on all dis.
Interviewer: Abey, chup ho ja..chup ho ja..chup ho jaa.
Ranga: Abey bolta ja..bolta ja..bolta ja.
Interviewer: Arey, yaar.
Ranga: Arey dushman.
Interviewer: Get Out
Ranga: Come In.
Interviewer: Oh my God.
Ranga: Oh, my devil.
Interviewer: shhhhhhh
Ranga: Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Interviewer: mere bap chup hoja
Ranga: mere bete bolta reh
Interviewer: U are rejected
Ranga: I m selected. Oye Bolo ta ra ra ra ra
hayo rabba!!


Ik Jameendar:
Ik Jameendar Apne Ristedar Te Fukri Marda Hoya Kehenda Hai:

Jad Main Savere Savere Car Ch Apni Jameena Dekhan Layi Janda Han Tan Sanjh Tak Vi Poori Jameen Nhi Dekh Paunda.
Rishtedar: Tusi Theek Kehende Ho 3 Saal Pehlan Saade Kol Vi Eho Jehi Ik Khatara Car Hundi Si, Assi Kabadi Nu Bech Ditti Si.


Pappu’s Friend : Yaar! Main Apna Purse Ghar Bhool Aaya, Mainu 1000 Rs Chahide Si.
Pappu : Dost Hi Dost De Kam Aunda Hai, Le 10 Rs, Riksha Kar Te Purse Le Aa.


Old Lady to Doctor: Mujhe Gaski problem hai
par achhi baat ye hai ki meri gas me na
BadBu aati hai na Awaaz
.
.
.
Aap k clinic me bhi 20 baar gas chhod chuki
hu par kisi ko pata nahi chala.
.
Doctor: “Ye Dawa lijiye aur 1 weekbaad
aayiye”.
.
.
(1 week baad)
Old Lady:”Aap ne mujhe kya dawa de di….??
Meri gas me ab bhi aawaz nahi aa
rahi par bahut Zehrili Badbu aa rahi hai”
.
.
Doctor:”Good..! Aapki Naak theek ho gayi hai
Ab hum aap k KAAN ka ilaaj
karenge……😛😀😀


Kudi kendi : tuj mein rab dikhta hai yaara main kya kro.,
Main v kehta fer beeba matha tek tey turdi ban😛


WAKEEL: Me lord, Qanoon di kitaab de safa numbr 15 de mutabiq mere mowakkil nu ba-izzat bari kita jaye.
JUDGE: “Kitaab Pesh Kiti Jaye” (Kitaab pesh kiti gayi) Judge ne safa numbr 15 kholiya taan us vich ’1000′ de ’10′ note si.
JUDGE: “is tarha de 2 saboot hor pesh kite jaan” __😛😀


A & B girls are traveling in a train:

A: Tujhe kaisa pati chahiye?
B: Mujhe Crorepati chaiiye.

A: Crorepati na miley to?
B: 50 lakh ke 2 pati chaleñge.

A: 50 lakh ke na miley to?
B: 25 lakh ke 4 pati bhi chaleñge.

UPPER SOYA PASSENGER:
JAB YE 1000 RUPAYE PE AAYE TO MUJHE UTHA DENA..!=D =D


Mashuk: main cheating kiti….
Munda: na tenu ki lgda ki main tena pyar krda?
main vi pishle 2sallaa to cheating hi kar rya c….
.
.
Mashuk roon lag pyi te kendi main papera di gaal krdi c…
Munda: ooo teri…


Indian & American college principals argued dat their stdnts r fearless.

American college principal called the students and asked to jump in sea full of sharks.
They jumped
Principal said: see the guts

Indian Principal called the students & told them to jump
Students: pagal ho gaya hai kya takle??
Principal: see the guts..!! :p =D


Pappu Ko Lottery me PARIS ka Tour Nikla
.
.
Usne BV ko fone Kiya: Jaan mere Sath Paris chalogi
.
.
BV Khushi se: han, han,
Blkul
Par
.
.
Aap bol kon rhe Ho…!!;-)😀🙂


Sohni g teacher ne 3 jawaka nu thpad mare
Reaxn of stdnts::::
.
Bngali: sry mam
.
Gujrati:meri kya galti hai mam
.
PUNJABI : shukar ae Raba ese Bhane Hath Ta Laya Sohnya NE.


High Insult Must Read😀

Bf To Gf- Jaan Kal Tum Mere Sapne Me Aayi Thi Nd You Were Looking Very Cute..;)
.
Gf- Khush hokar,hmm?? Sach Much ??
.
Bf- Haa Baba Sach Much
.
Gf- Jaan Hum Dono Kya kar Rae The ??
.
.
Bf- Main Cadbury Dairy Milk Kha Raha Tha
Main Akele Hi Kha Raha Tha Aur Tm Bhukhi Bhikhari Ki Tarah
Keh Rahi Thi Ke Plz
Choclate Chahe Mat Dena But Kam Se Kam WraPper Toh De Dena ChaaTne Ke LiYe😛😀


Read Must😀
1 Pari ne dekha k 1 Sher Khargosh ka picha kar
raha hai.
.
.
Pari ne 2no ko rok kar kaha ki agar tum aisa na
kro to main tum 2 noki 3, 3 khuwaishain puri karoongi
.
.
Sher: mere ilawa is jungle k tamam
Sheron ko Sherniya bana do.
. .
Khargosh: 1 helmet chahiye.
.
.
Sher: baraabar waalay jungle ke tamam Shero ko
Sherniya bana do. .
.
Khargosh: 1 bike de do.
.
.
Sher: sari duniya k Shero ko Sherniya bana do.
.
.
Khargosh ne bike start ki helmet pehna aur bola:
“is sher ko Gay bana do”😛 =D😀 Lolz khargosh RocK.😀


Pappu aur uske dost Ne do Ghode
khareede.
.
Baat Ye hui ki kaunsa Ghoda Kis ka
hai ?

.
Pappu : Main Apne Ghode ki Dum
kat deta hon! Ye Nishani Hogi.
Subha dekha to Doosre Ghode ki
Dum bhi kisi Ne Kaat Di.
.
Pappu : aaj Main apne Ghode Ka
Kaan Kaat deta hun..
Agli subha doosre Ghode ka bhi
Kaan Kata hua tha.
.
.
Dono bade pareshan ki Ab Kya Kiya
Jaaye !
Bahut Soch vichar ke baad Pappu
bola:
Chal chhor yar Safed ghoda tera
Kala ghoda Mera..:D:-P


Amitab: Ab aakhri sawal 1
crore ka what is ur fathers
name?

Pappu: Hasne laga.

Amitabh: Has kyon rhe ho.?

Pappu: Kanjra option ta de..


Arz kiya hai..
.
.
.
Khushi wo Chiz hai jis se Gum bhulaya jata hai..
.
.
.
Aur
.
Gum wo chiz Hai mere dost .
Jis se
.
.
.
Lifafa chipkaya jata hai.


Boy :- Mujhe Dog Food lena hai.
SALES GIRL :- Kya apke pas Kutta hai ?

Boy :- Ha ghar pe hai.
SALES GIRL : Sorry ! Store policy hai ke zarort dekh kar item sale karo.

NEXT DAY

Boy :- Mujhe Cat Food lena hai
SALES GIRL :- Sorry Sir pehle Billi la ke dekhao.

3 din bad boy bag le ke store aya aur bola:
Bag me hath dal ke sabot dekh lo.

SALES GIRL hath dal ke boli :- Koi Garm, Geeli aur Mulayum chez hai. Kiya hai ?

Boy :- Ye meri TaTTi hai, 0r mujhe aaj “TOILET PAPER” lena hai…..:P


Girl’s FB Status –
Traveled in a BUS after such a long time.. ?
Comments:
– Awwwww..muah..??
—Maybe next time we both can go together sweetie..;-) —
— went without me ??😥

Child :- Papa aunti ka pait kiyon phula hai…
Father :- i know,tu sab janta hai….
Child :- i don’t know,trust me
Father :- In k pait mai pani bhara hai..
Child :- Fir Papa bacha to doob jaiga…


Husband aur Wife ki ladai hui.

Husband ghar se chala gaya.

– (Raat ko phone pe) –

Husband : “khana me kya hai”.

Wife : Zeher.

Husband :Mai der se aaunga tum khakar so jana…


Teeth said to Tongue:
“If i just press u little, u’ll get cut.

“Tongue replied: “if I miss use One word against someone
,den all 32 of u’ll come Out.. ;-):-)


Preeto: kurri jawan ho gayi wey koi changa munda wekho..
26 saal da howay…
Pappu :jey 26 saal da na miley ta 13-13 de 2 le awaan…?

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